Something Else
by Gone Random
Summary: Carol discovers that their mutually beneficial physical relationship may have some strings attached after all.
1. Chapter 1

**This fic is based on a suggestion by queenofshipping on Tumblr.**

**The Walking Dead isn't mine.**

* * *

The first time it happened was on the first really cold night after they had fled the farm. The fire had been as large as they dared, but still offered little comfort. Carol's arms were wrapped tightly around herself in an attempt to retain some body heat. She averted her eyes from the others around the fire. The lovers and the families, who clung to each other for warmth. Even Rick and Lori, who were not speaking, wrapped their arms around each other with Carl between them.

She didn't really blame Rick anymore. Hadn't really blamed him, but for a moment. But seeing him hold his son made her heart clench painfully. Why did he leave Sophia alone in the woods? She pushed that thought away immediately but could do nothing to stop the tears. She was cold and lonely and her arms ached for her daughter.

Carol got up and stumbled away from the fire, needing privacy. She waved off Lori's concern, pretending she simply needed to relieve herself. Really she just needed five minutes to herself so she could have a good cry. She didn't go far. She curled in on herself at the base of a tree and let go. Really let go. For the first time since this whole nightmare had started.

She didn't just mourn her daughter. She mourned the world. What was the difference in living with Ed or living with this new threat? The fear was constant. She'd forgotten what it had ever felt like to be relaxed. At least before all this she could fantasize about packing a suitcase and running away with Sophia. There was no where to run now. And all she dreamed of was something to eat. Anything at all.

Her fingers worried the cross that hung around her neck. It was an old habit. She hadn't prayed once since Sophia had walked out of that barn. Where had praying ever gotten her? Without thinking she yanked the object off her neck and flung it into the bushes.

"You might regret that." He spoke, suddenly there. Had probably been watching her the entire time, she realized. She'd made extra work for him by wandering off. She hastily wiped her eyes and managed to smile at him. She was good at that. Could bury her emotion at a moments notice. Ed had had no patience for tears.

"Sorry." She said. Always sorry for every damned thing.

"Shouldn't be out here by yourself." Daryl stated, though made no move back toward their camp.

"I know. I just wanted to be alone."

"Sophia?" He asked, surprising her. They didn't talk about Sophia. Not since that night he lashed out at her back on the farm.

Carol nodded. "Partly. I'm just so cold." She admitted, looking away. "And they're all so cozy. I just needed a break. I know that sounds petty." It sounded ridiculous as she said it out loud.

He surprised her again by kneeling down next to her, nodding in her general direction. "You ain't got nothing else?" He asked.

She glanced down at the thin cardigan she wore. "This is it." She shrugged. "Same as everyone else."

"Need to do a real run." Daryl said. "Clothes, tents, sleeping bags, if we can get them."

"Sounds like heaven." Carol said, shivering again.

Daryl put his crossbow on the ground beside him and reached out to run his hands vigorously up and down her arms.

"Wish I could have a long soak in a hot bath." Carol smiled, leaning into Daryl a little.

Daryl grunted in that way she understood to be a laugh. "Guess we could all use that."

Carol noticed Daryl had stopped rubbing her arms and was simply gripping them lightly.

"Come on." He said. "If you can put up with the smell, you can bunk with me."

"Best offer I've had in awhile." Carol joked as Daryl turned red.

"Stop." He demanded, his hands still lingering on her arms. "You're blue. I ain't gonna let you freeze."

Carol blamed the cold for what happened next. She simply moved into his arms and held him, her arms up inside his vest. It took him a moment, but he did tighten his arms around her and she sighed with relief.

"Sorry." She said again.

"I ain't complaining." Daryl insisted gruffly. "Warmer?"

"Getting there. How about you?" She asked, pressing herself further into him.

"Yeah, just, be careful." He said quickly, jerking away from her slightly.

"Oh." Carol said.

His arms dropped from her then and he stepped away, embarrassed.

"Wait." Carol said, missing his warmth immediately. "Could we?" She asked, amazed at her nerve. But she had nothing left to lose.

Daryl's eyes narrowed. "What?"

"Just something to get the blood flowing." Carol suggested. "That's all, I swear."

"That's all?" Daryl questioned. "Easy as that?"

"What else is there?" She asked. "I'm so cold. I need to feel something. There has to be some life in this dead world. In us. Something besides running."

He seemed to accept this and nodded, before taking her by the elbow and leading her further away from the camp. They didn't undress. They didn't dare. Pants were shoved down to the knees. She lay with her back on the hard, uneven ground. A few quick thrusts and it was over. Not a single kiss between them.

"Thanks." She said, pulling up her pants.

Daryl snorted. "You warm now?"

"Yes." She smiled.

She returned to the fire and lay down, knowing she could sleep. Daryl returned later. She heard him store his crossbow nearby and then felt him lay down next to her, his back against hers. She swore to herself that she wouldn't move or disturb him in any way. He was doing this for her benefit. His warmth was a gift. His body had been his gift to her and she was grateful.

That was the first time it had happened.


	2. Chapter 2

**The Walking Dead isn't mine.**

* * *

Carol moaned as Daryl shifted beneath her, sending a delicious pulse through her body.

"Shhhhh." Daryl warned, his hands firm on her hips, guiding her.

"No one is going to come out in this." Carol reassured him.

They were in the cab of the truck, a rare treat. The rain had forced the group to find a house for the night. Normally they avoided towns. Towns equaled walkers. But no one was willing to spend another night squeezed into 3 vehicles. They were lucky and found a fairly isolated house all clear of walkers. No food, but they'd take whatever small victory they could.

Carol had been in an excellent mood at the thought of sleeping with a roof over her head. She volunteered right away for the second watch with Daryl. They were very careful and didn't often take watch together. In fact Daryl left it all up to her. After years with Ed, there was something very satisfying about being the one to chose when and where. Daryl never refused her.

Daryl's hands traveled up, inside her shirt and then back to her hips again, gripping tightly. He was sat in the passenger seat with Carol on top, holding on to the back of the seat as she ground into him. They'd learned an embarrassing lesson about the driver's seat once before. Car horns brought not only walkers, but also the group, running. Carol giggled at the memory.

"What's so funny?" Daryl gasped.

"Horn." Was all she needed to say.

Daryl grunted in response and pulled her down harder. Carol met his new rhythm. She didn't realize she was making a sound until Daryl brought his hand up to cover her mouth. She didn't care as she felt her body throb with release. She felt Daryl shudder as he followed her. It had become his pattern to wait for her to come before he let go. She suspected he hadn't been proud of their first time together, but that had been months ago.

Carol didn't move a muscle, just savored the feeling and stared up at the roof of the truck as the rain pounded above their heads. Daryl's hands were on the move again, caressing her back, as he tended to do. She imagined he didn't know what to do at this point and she usually just rolled away from him.

She looked back down at him, about to speak, when his hand came up and touched her face. She couldn't decipher his expression.

"What?" She asked, uncertainly. "Is there something on my face?"

His hand dropped away. "Nothin'" He rasped.

Sensing the mood had changed, Carol climbed off Daryl and reached for her pants.

"I'm sure it'll be a quiet night." She said. "Not even a walker would be caught out in this."

"You should go on in." He suggested. "I got this."

"That's not what I meant." Carol said, looking at him.

He didn't meet her eye, but seemed oddly focused on buttoning his pants.

"Trying to get rid of me?" She asked, hoping to tease a faint smile out of him. It wasn't easy, but when they were alone she sometimes managed a full on grin.

"I'm gonna walk the perimeter." He declared and jumped out of the truck before she could argue with him.

Carol sat there fighting the sudden urge to cry. She wasn't even sure what was wrong, but the sudden tension had her on edge. Daryl was never overly chatty, but it'd been a long time since she'd felt any hostility from him. All of her earlier excitement drained out of her.

He returned a few minutes later, soaked to the bone. He just sat there and let the water drip off of him. It wasn't a comfortable silence.

"You should go in and change." She said finally.

He ignored her.

Carol swallowed against the lump in her throat. She would not cry in front of him. Especially if she didn't even know what they were fighting about. And that's what this felt like. A fight. She opened her mouth to speak, but closed it again. What could she say to remove this brick wall that Daryl had seemed to erect between them? She decided to just leave without another word.

She opened the door determined to march back to the house when a walker appeared out of no where and grabbed onto her leg. She screamed and fell backward against the truck. She tried kicking it off and Daryl was there trying to pull her back into the truck. Finally she remembered the knife attached to her belt and managed to grab it. With a force she didn't know she was capable of, she jabbed it into the walker's skull.

Daryl was out of the truck now, pulling her to her feet and looking around for other threats.

"Are you bit?" He asked anxiously.

She shook her head, but he was on his knees anyway, running his hands over her legs, checking for bites or scratches.

"I said I'm fine." She said, shaking him off.

Daryl stood and turned on her. "Christ! Did you even look before you opened the door? It was right there!"

"Actually, my mind was on other things. Like escaping." Carol shot back.

"Escaping? What? You mean me?" Daryl asked. "Don't act like all this wasn't your idea, lady."

"I didn't hear you complaining." Carol said. "Don't ever hear you say much at all."

"What's the point? You ain't even there." Daryl claimed. "Could be fuckin' a walker."

Carol stared at him, stunned.

"Well if that's how you feel, I won't bother you again." Carol huffed, hurt.

"Yeah, do us both a favor. Next time you're cold, see what T-Dog can do for you."

"Maybe I will." Carol shrugged.

"One dick is as good as another, right?" Daryl spat.

Carol didn't bother answering him. She walked back into the house, found her bag and changed her clothes, hanging her wet things to dry. She found her sleeping bag in the living room where everyone else was asleep. They always stayed together these days.

She lay down and covered up. She couldn't stop shivering. Beside her, Daryl's sleeping things were laid out. Everyone had accepted that they slept side by side. Shared what little warmth they could manage between them. It was practical. That's what this world had reduced everything to.

She heard him come in much later. It was some time after that when he lay down beside her. He was still angry, she could tell. A moment later his stiff back was pressed up against hers. The night passed and she didn't manage to sleep at all.


	3. Chapter 3

**The Walking Dead isn't mine.**

* * *

"Well he's just a ray of sunshine." Lori muttered to Carol as they packed up for yet another day on the road. Carol didn't need to ask who Lori was talking about. Daryl had been as prickly as a porcupine for days now, but she couldn't bring herself to apologize to him. She was confused as to what had set him off to begin with. And then he'd just been cruel.

"Come on," Carol took the bed rolls that Lori was holding. "Best thing is to just ignore him."

"Well he should lighten up." Lori continued. "It's bad enough we've got the better part of Georgia trying to eat us, I don't need him glaring daggers at me." She rubbed her growing belly as she said this and Carol frowned. She knew Lori was far too hard on herself for everything that had happened. She seemed to think everyone was judging her. Carol couldn't imagine Daryl having any interest or opinion on who fathered Lori's baby.

"It's not you." Carol said, giving her friend's arm a quick squeeze. To her dismay, she could feel the prick of tears behind her eyelids.

"Carol?" Lori grabbed her hand to pull her closer. "What is it?"

"It's nothing." Carol smiled. "I promise."

"Did you two have a fight?"

"Of course not." Carol insisted. "What would we have to fight about?"

Lori nodded and let go of her hand. She shrugged. "To be honest, I've wondered once or twice if he wasn't sweet on you."

Carol's smile faltered a little. "I'm going to blame that one on the hormones." She said and quickly stepped away with her bundles before Lori could say more.

He was there, of course, hovering at the edge of all her activity. She couldn't imagine why, but made an effort not to be caught alone. His words repeated in her head and she was angry at herself for suddenly being awkward around T-Dog. The poor man did nothing more than thank her for breakfast this morning and she knew she'd blushed scarlet.

Daryl seemed to think he and T-Dog were interchangeable for her, but that wasn't true. His words to her had been a revelation. She'd had no idea he thought so little of her. She didn't think of herself as some sort of randy teenager. She'd been lonely and afraid. And cold. She had sought comfort from Daryl because he was her friend. Maybe even her best friend. She thought they understood each other. Thought maybe she was a comfort to him too.

Carol sighed and forced herself to smile when T-Dog helped load the last of their supplies into the truck.

"We're going to head East." Rick announced as they were about to head off. "There's a couple of small towns, we might get lucky with a general store. Perhaps go house to house for supplies." He nodded and got behind the wheel of their vehicle. That was all there was to be said, apparently.

House to house scavenging was dangerous, but usually more rewarding than going into stores that had been emptied months ago. They usually had to put down the former residents, but then had a household full of goods to look through. They got most of their clothes and bedding this way. And sanitary supplies. Food was less likely a find, but sometimes they got lucky.

Carol rode in the truck with Lori, Rick, Carl and T-dog. Sometimes driving along the highway was as close to feeling normal that they got. Until they passed a traffic snarl. Or a walker drifted onto the road. But just driving past scenery, that was comforting. She could daydream then. Pretend she was going somewhere.

They'd had a successful day down a fairly affluent, residential street. Carol was most excited by the down jacket she'd snagged for herself. Spring was approaching rapidly, but she'd never forget this past winter. She'd wear this coat all summer long if that's what she had to do to keep it til it got cold again.

They were pushing their luck, but each house was better than the last, so they kept going. Another house and then another. Carol walked up the stairs of a giant colonial, wondering why people ever thought they needed so much space or so much stuff. A secret project of hers was to seek out baby things for Lori. She opened each door, hoping for a nursery.

It had to happen sooner or later. She had enough sense to know that. Still, she couldn't control the small gasp that escaped her as the small child turned toward her.

"Not a child." She reminded herself firmly. She couldn't even tell if it had once been a boy or a girl. A blessing, surely. She sank her blade into the thing's skull with a sob.

She turned to leave then, not caring any more about what she might salvage from these ruined lives.

"Carol," Daryl was right there, same as always. He looked like he was reaching out to her but she brushed past him quickly, needing some air.

On the porch, sucking in deep breaths, she overheard Rick announce they should bunk there for the night.

"Not this fuckin' house." Daryl replied. There were angry whispers and then silence. Lori joined her not long after, taking her hand and leading her next door.

Carol wore the down jacket to bed that night, unable to control her shivering. Lori called it shock, but Carol insisted she was just cold. Always so cold.

Daryl took first watch, so it was very late when he came in for the night. It wasn't long before she felt his back against hers and her eyes finally grew heavy.

"You alright?" She heard him whisper. She nodded, startled that he had spoken.

She felt him shift and suddenly fingers were at her hip, the lightest of touches.

"I'm sorry." He said. "For those things I said."

It was on the tip of her tongue to reassure him that it was okay, but something held her back.

"I didn't mean it."

Carol tried to pretend she was asleep.

"Carol," He tried again.

"I heard you." She said finally. "It's okay."

His fingers slid away from her hip as he turned back over. She could tell he hadn't believed her. But his back remained solid against hers.


	4. Chapter 4

**Today's chapter is for Septiclovebite.**

**The Walking Dead isn't mine.**

* * *

She knew he hadn't noticed her when she saw him approach the edge of the pond. She was crouched at the edge, among the reeds, rinsing a few things out. She decided to just watch him for a moment, since she rarely had the opportunity to take a good look at him. It was usually the other way around.

He stared at the water for a minute before sitting down to remove his boots. He dipped his feet in the water, testing it. It seemed to pass. With a quick glance around he ripped his shirt off over his head and then started unbuckling his pants.

"Don't mind me." Carol said then, before he got any further. She was embarrassed to be caught ogling him.

His eyes darted to hers and they both looked away. He picked up his shirt and fingered it for a minute. She knew he was uncomfortable with anyone seeing his scars.

"Thought I'd go for a swim." He said roughly. "Wash some of the stink off."

"Well don't let me stop you." She grinned cheekily.

"What? You gonna watch?" He asked, warily.

"Nothing I haven't seen before." She reminded him. "And for the record, I never thought you smelled bad. Kind of manly, really." She dipped her head back to her task, scolding herself for flirting. It had been nearly a month since his whispered apology and they were just beginning to get back to some sort of ease with each other.

"You teasing me?" He asked, his cheeks tinged red.

"Little bit." Carol smiled. "Sorry."

He dropped the shirt back on the ground and stared at her as he dropped his pants. She didn't take her eyes off him as he slowly waded out into deeper water. Finally he slipped beneath the surface and Carol felt herself let go of a breath she hadn't known she was holding.

He came up for air closer than she was expecting, startling her.

"You should come in." He said.

"I don't know." Carol hesitated.

"Come on. Hershel's panties can wait. Join me."

His face was so open. He looked like the boy he must have been once. It was the way one side of his mouth tilted up into a smile that convinced her.

"Alright." She giggled at herself, but stood up and quickly got out of her clothes. He stared the entire time, but she guessed she had that coming.

She waded out a little further than him and dipped into the water. It was refreshing. She came up for air and Daryl was there, swimming beside her.

"Good idea." She admitted.

"One of my better ones." Daryl agreed.

They swam around a bit and Carol had to laugh at the strangeness. She also felt lighter than she had in a long time.

"Good to hear you laugh." Daryl said, coming even closer to her.

"I guess there isn't much to laugh at these days." She said, smiling at him.

He reached out and touched her hip, turning her to look at him.

"Do you forgive me?" He asked.

She looked at him and nodded. She didn't want to be angry at him anymore.

His hand gripped her hip more firmly as he pulled her backwards against his chest. She could feel his hard length rubbing against her ass. His arms tightened around her and he groaned.

"I want you." He confessed.

"Yes." Was all Carol managed to say. He had her bent over and was inside of her that instant. Then he stilled, as if to savor the moment.

Carol was expecting their usual quick fuck. What with walkers and sneaking around, they'd never taken their time with each other. Daryl clearly had other plans. He eased her over to the bank and laid her out on the grass. For all the fooling around they'd done, she'd never been this exposed with him. His eyes lingered.

And then his mouth dipped to her collarbone, sucking the moisture from there. He used his tongue on each breast, his hot breath sending shivers through her as he flicked at her nipples. She was so dizzy with desire at this point, it was like a jolt through her system when his mouth reached her core. He nipped and sucked and she bucked beneath him shamelessly as an orgasm ripped through her.

He was inside her again then, his head tucked into her shoulder. She grabbed his ass, encouraging him to go harder, deeper. She thought she might shatter again. He lifted his head as she came a second time, pulsing around him. His eyes did not leave hers as he joined her.

She thought it must be the heat of the moment. His mouth suddenly met hers and he kissed her. Softly at first. Then more deeply. Both of his hands reached up and cupped her head, keeping her from shifting away from him. Finally the need for air forced him to release her. He stared into her eyes, waiting.

"What was that?" She asked, confused.

"What have you got against kissing?" Daryl asked her, his finger trailing up her arm. He wasn't looking at her now.

"Nothing." Carol said. "It's just, we've never done that before."

"Yeah, well, now we have." Daryl rolled off her then and stared up at the sky.

Carol sensed she had once again inadvertently ruined the mood. She reached out with her fingers to find his.

"I've missed this." She said softly, lightly holding his hand.

"I've missed you." Daryl rasped. "Guess that's the difference."

He moved to sit up but Carol put her hand on his chest, keeping him in place.

"Wait. What did you mean by that?" She asked. "What was all of this just now?"

"What?" Daryl asked. "Didn't wanna just fuck you. Don't know what way things might go with you. Don't know when it might be the last time."

Carol blinked back tears and removed her hand from his chest. He was up like a shot and pulling on his clothes. It was almost a completely foreign concept to her, but she suspected that they had just made love. Daryl had made love to her. Because she'd convinced him she was so indifferent that he didn't know if he would ever have the chance again.

"Daryl, do you have feelings for me?" She asked.

He stomped away without answering. That night she slept alone.


	5. Chapter 5

**The Walking Dead isn't mine. Thanks so much for all your feedback. I love hearing from you.**

* * *

"Are you going to tell me what's wrong?" Lori asked, startling her.

"What?" Carol asked.

"You've been staring at nothing for the last ten minutes. I know something is on your mind."

Carol shook her head. "It's nothing."

"Come on," Lori said, bumping her shoulder against Carol's. "You listen to me go on and on about Rick all the time. Let me return the favor."

"Rick is a good man." Carol sighed.

"I know it." Lori agreed. "I just wish he would talk to me." She said wistfully. "He'll wear himself to the bone protecting us and providing for us, but he still can't look me in the eye. I can't help but wonder if it'll be better or worse when the baby is born."

"He loves you." Carol said. "Everything he does is for you and Carl. And the baby."

Lori nodded her head and looked around. "Don't think I'm going to let you off the hook that easily." She said. "We were talking about you. What were you thinking about just now?"

"Ed, actually." Carol confessed.

"Oh Carol," Lori took her friend's hand. "Why? What brought this on? I know he doesn't deserve another moment's thought from you."

Carol pulled her fingers from Lori's grip and wiped fresh tears from her eyes.

"I'm so angry." Carol whispered. "I hate him."

"He's gone. Carol, he can't hurt you anymore."

"That's what I thought." Carol admitted. "So many wasted years. I was weak to put up with it for so long. I can't even remember why I stayed. Especially once Sophia was born. I should have taken her and run."

"You can't keep punishing yourself for the past." Lori said. "You're a different person now. We have to move forward."

"I tried." Carol laughed. "At least, I thought I was. But Ed's getting the last laugh."

"What do you mean?" Lori asked.

"It doesn't matter." Carol said bitterly. "I just hadn't realized how much he had stolen from me. Even gone he's still here. I thought I was happy. Can you imagine that? In this world? I thought I'd managed to find happiness. But happiness is more than what I thought. More than just the absence of pain. I don't even recognize tenderness." Carol sobbed.

Carol felt Lori's arms come around her.

"It's okay." Carol choked, attempting to walk out of Lori's embrace. "I'm fine."

"No." Lori said, holding her tighter. "No. I've got you."

Carol felt herself sag into Lori's arms and let herself find comfort there. After awhile her tears dried up and she became aware of Lori's fingers smoothing over her head. She was very nearly lulled into sleep, like a child after a tantrum. She always found the release of emotion exhausting. It was easier to keep it inside. To just keep going.

"Daryl is a good man." Lori whispered, her lips moving against Carol's head.

Carol didn't respond.

"Did something happen? Between you two?" Lori pressed. "I know he's moved his bedding away from us again."

"It's gotten warmer." Carol said, dully.

"Was he, has he been, tender?" Lori asked.

"He tried." Carol said, finally. "I didn't know how."

Carol removed herself from Lori's grasp then, brushing imaginary dust from her clothes. "Please don't tell anyone." She asked, unable to look Lori in the eye.

"Of course not." Lori said immediately. "But Carol, you have to know that everyone assumes you two are together."

"Why would anyone assume that?" Carol asked, embarrassed.

Lori shrugged. "I don't think it's any one thing. But if I had to pick, I'd say it's the way he looks at you."

Carol felt herself reject this notion, but then, hadn't she suspected the same thing? She'd gone so far as to ask Daryl how he felt, but he was angry by then. And now she'd never know.

"You love Rick." Carol said.

"Yes, of course." Lori said without hesitation.

"How do you know?"

Lori looked surprised. "I just do. I feel it. I feel it in everything that I do. In everything that I am."

"I thought I loved Ed." Carol whispered. "But I was just afraid."

"Think about Sophia." Lori urged. "Think about your love for her. That was real."

They both turned their heads as they heard some of the others returning to the campsite. Carol took the opportunity to walk away from Lori.

From the corner of her eye she could see Daryl pulling out his knife to skin the rabbits he'd caught. He glanced up at her for a moment, before returning to his task.

Without a word to him, Carol set about preparing the meal. She boiled water for instant potatoes as Daryl filled an empty plate with cuts of meat. Soon Carol had a pan on the fire, listening to the satisfying pop and hiss of the rabbit cooking.

"Smells good." Daryl offered, roughly, wiping his hands in his pants.

"It all does these days, doesn't it?" Carol answered, not looking up from her work.

"I prefer it when you do the cooking." He said.

"That's silly." Carol insisted.

"I'm serious. Here comes little Greene. Don't let her take over." Daryl whispered and then took off.

Carol could feel a little smile threatening, but pushed the feeling away. She was exhausted from her chat with Lori and didn't want to get her hopes up over an insignificant exchange with Daryl. She was glad they were at least on speaking terms. She wouldn't lose his friendship and that was the most important thing. He needed his cool off time, but he usually came around again.

As for the other, well, that obviously hadn't been a good idea to start with. She only had herself to blame. Daryl needed more from her than she was capable of giving. A part of her longed to try. She wished she had the courage to reach out to him. But she couldn't risk hurting him further. And her own heart? She didn't know it. Like any muscle that had suffered from disuse, any attempt to exercise it resulted in pain.


	6. Chapter 6

**The Walking Dead isn't mine.**

* * *

"Thank you, Carol. That's coming along nicely." Hershel said, admiring her handiwork.

Carol and Hershel had both forgotten T-Dog's presence as they leaned over his hand to inspect her stitches.

"May I have my hand back now?" T-Dog asked. "Or are you still experimenting on me?"

Hershel leaned back and smiled. "Practicing." He corrected. "Your cut came at a convenient time."

"My scratch, you mean?" T-Dog asked. "I was looking for a bandage. Not to get poked with a needle."

"Well you took it well." Hershel said. "She must have been gentle enough."

"I can kiss it better if you like." Carol grinned at him.

"May I go?" T-Dog asked again and Carol released him.

"That was very good, Carol." Hershel said again, ignoring T-Dog's muttering. "You're a natural."

"I don't know about that." Carol said. "But thanks for showing me all of this. Makes me feel useful."

"It's just smart to pass on the knowledge." Hershel pointed out. "Really, everyone should be getting basic first aid training. We can't depend on always being together. And these are vital skills to have. We've proven that too many times already."

"What's next?" Carol asked, eager to learn.

"I should have a look at Lori, see how she's doing."

"Are you worried about her?" Carol asked.

"I'll remind you, Carol, that I'm just a vet. I know enough to know it's different from delivering a calf or foal. I wasn't even present at the birth of my daughters. Wasn't our way. Of all of us, you have the most experience. You're a mother."

Carol felt the familiar twinge of pain, but it passed quickly. It helped to be occupied with a task.

"Lori had a C-Section with Carl." She pointed out. "Can you handle that? Do you know what to do?"

"I have an idea." Hershel said. "I've been keeping my eyes open for books or supplies. Doesn't help that Rick mostly avoids towns. She can't have more than 6 weeks left. I'd like to be indoors. I'd like for her to be taking it easy. Stress isn't helpful either."

Hershel and Carol both glanced over at the fire where Lori and Rick sat silently with Carl between them.

"Maybe you could talk to him?" Carol suggested.

"I do try." Hershel confessed. "I'm not sure he knows himself what he's looking for. He expects to just recognize it when he sees it."

"No where is safe anymore, but anywhere has got to be better than out in the open like this all of the time." Carol said.

"Care to share that with the others?" Hershel asked.

Carol shook her head. "No one cares what I have to say. We'll follow Rick. We've come this far."

Hershel gave Carol a pat on the knee and stood up. "I think your man is waiting on you." He said.

Carol followed his gaze and saw Daryl just at the edge of the trees. As soon as her eyes met his, he gave her a nod and turned, clearly expecting her to follow.

"He's not mine." Carol said automatically, even as she stood to follow him.

"Got your sewing kit on you?" Daryl asked when she reached him. He continued walking as he spoke, forcing her to follow him further into the woods.

"Finally letting me patch your pants?" She asked, amused.

"Saw you stitching up Dog. Thought you could do the same for me." He said with a quick glance back toward her.

"Are you hurt?" Carol asked, alarmed.

"Nothin' much."

Carol managed to catch up and tug on his arm. "Wait. Where are we going?"

"Don't need the whole world looking." Daryl said.

Carol looked around. "It's just us. Show me."

Daryl seemed to hesitate, but then whipped off his shirt in one quick movement. There was an angry looking gash along his right shoulder.

"What happened?" Carol asked, reaching out to touch the ugly wound.

Daryl snapped his body away from her, wincing at the quick movement. "Watch it." He warned. "Fell backward against some barbed wire."

Carol crossed her arms. "You fell? When?"

"Hunting."

"Yesterday."

"Can you sew it up or not?" Daryl huffed.

"You should have shown this to Hershel right away. What if it gets infected?" Carol knew she was lecturing but couldn't stop herself. "Was there a walker?"

"Asshole surprised me." Daryl admitted.

Carol bit her tongue from saying more. She willed her heart to calm down and reached into her bag for her first aid kit.

"Hershel should see this." She said again.

"No."

"He's patched you up before." Carol pointed out. She knew he was uncomfortable being seen without his shirt on.

"I ain't doing this in front of half the camp. Are you gonna help or not?"

"You're going to have to sit down." She said, taking out some antiseptic.

Daryl sat stiffly, bracing himself. Carol wondered if the cut really hurt that much or if he was just uncomfortable with her now. Her heart pounded as she first placed her hands on top of his shoulders, to let him adjust to being touched. After a moment he visibly relaxed. Without comment, she cleaned the cut and began the stitches.

"This isn't as neat as Hershel could have done it." Carol said regretfully when she was done.

Daryl let out a puff of air, which she recognized to be his version of laughter. "Ain't too worried about how it looks at this point. You did good. Thanks."

Carol picked up Daryl's shirt and unbuttoned it before helping him get his arm through the sleeve. She had started doing the buttons up for him when she realized he was just watching her. Staring.

"Sorry." She said, letting her hands drop. She felt herself flush with embarrassment. It had been a couple of months since that day at the pond, but it still got awkward between them occasionally.

"You never helped me get my clothes on before." Daryl said, finishing his buttons. "Kind of soft, for us."

"You mean romantic?" Carol raised her eyebrows.

"If that's what you want to call it." Carol wasn't sure if his shrug was really as casual as it seemed to be. She still ached over their last misunderstanding.

"Afraid I'm going to jump you again?" She dared ask. She plastered a smile on her face and pretended she was teasing him.

"Don't push it." He warned, but he wasn't angry and Carol was relieved she could at least joke with him. Relieved she still had his trust and friendship.

"So that's a no to screwing around?" She pushed a little. The sudden lightness in her heart had made her giddy.

He gave her a long look and then nudged her with his shoulder back toward their camp.

"I ain't afraid and I don't wanna screw around." He said simply.

"That's a shame." She said as she walked ahead of him. "You were so good at it."

"No, I wasn't." She heard him say.


	7. Chapter 7

**The Walking Dead doesn't belong to me. **

* * *

The herd had been a relatively small one. It wasn't until much later that Carol registered how close a call it had been. But they were conditioned now. A fighting unit. She was proud of how she had grabbed her gun and acted automatically.

When the men returned from their scouting trip and saw the condition of the camp, Rick knew immediately. He came over to where she'd been dragging the walkers away to be burned.

"Carol," Rick said, putting a hand on her shoulder to get her attention.

Carol looked up from her work and used the back of her wrist to wipe her forehead.

"Lori told me what you did here today. She says she owes you her life."

Carol shrugged and tried to smother her smile. "Thank you for taking the time to teach me. The training made the difference."

"Looks like you kept your head." Rick continued.

"We were lucky." Carol said. "I was glad to do my part."

Rick gave her arm another squeeze before turning back to the others. As she watched him leave her eyes landed on Daryl. He was standing in the middle of the camp holding her down coat, which was now in shreds. She frowned at the loss. The walker had grabbed at her from behind, but she was able to slip out of her coat and escape.

She was about to turn back to her task when Daryl was there, still holding the coat. For a moment, she thought he was angry, but when he spoke his voice was as soft as she'd ever heard it.

"You bit?" He asked, not looking directly at her.

"No. No, I'm fine. More than I can say for my coat." She smiled.

Daryl dropped the coat on the ground. "Let me see." He demanded, his voice still low, but firm.

Carol held out her bare arms and turned them over for him. "See? No damage done."

Daryl merely grunted and took her shoulders to turn her around. He lifted the back of her shirt and ran his hands over her back, causing her to shiver.

She was aware then, if Daryl was not, that they were standing in the middle of the camp and he had her shirt pushed up to the back of her neck. She kept a firm hold on the front of her shirt and turned her head to look back at him.

"Planning on stripping me down right here in front of everyone?" She asked, playfully.

Instead of dropping her shirt and storming off, as she expected him to do, he took his time smoothing her shirt back into place, making sure she was covered again. She thought his hands lingered longer than they needed to, but decided that pointing it out might be taken as complaining.

He gave her shirt one last tug and then stepped back from her. "Must have been thirty geeks." He said, looking around.

"Didn't stop to count." Carol admitted. "So? Will I live?"

"Looks like." His expression was unreadable. "Good shooting." He said finally.

"I got lucky." Carol repeated her earlier words to Rick. "Must have nine lives."

"Should have been here." Daryl said, looking off at nothing in particular.

Carol looked at Daryl who seemed to be struggling with some unknown emotion. Usually his anger was easy to read. He threw things. Or yelled. This was something else.

"You can't always be here." Carol said. That was obvious. "I can't depend on you always being there to save me. It's important to me that I'm able to save myself." She explained. "You're not responsible for me."

He stared at her then, and she saw the anger that had been missing the moment before.

"Ain't we all in this together?" He asked.

"Yes. But that means I'm in it too. You shouldn't take on the burden of protecting us all on your own. And then blame yourself when you can't. Like with Sophia." The words slipped from her lips before she could stop them.

He took another step back from her, pushing air through his teeth. A heartbeat later he rushed up to her, looking ready to strike. Carol felt her own anger rise and her heart beats matched each hot breath that hit her face.

"Don't." She warned.

"Wasn't gonna." He huffed, face red.

"So sure, are you?" She asked, close to tears again.

"You should be." And she felt chastised. She turned to walk away from him and he held her in place by the elbow.

She looked at him and felt a surge of spite. "I'm not yours either." She told him. She yanked her arm out of his grip and walked back to the corpses she'd been moving.

"Daryl." She heard Rick speak then, closer than she'd expected him to be. It was a warning. She managed to work for the rest of the day without crossing paths with Daryl again.

That night Carol sat at the fire, huddled with Lori. Lori seemed to think that Carol needed either support or protection. Carol was too tired to argue with her. She knew that whatever had triggered Daryl's temper, it was over now. She could tell by the way he was keeping to himself, away from the group. Her own anger had vanished and she was left with the dull ache of having spoken words she didn't mean and couldn't take back.

It was much later, when everyone else was asleep, that Carol finally gave up on getting any rest and left Lori's side. Daryl was on watch and if he saw her coming, he made no comment. She sat down beside him, leaving space between them.

"I'm sorry." She said immediately.

"Me too." Daryl replied after a moment. He tore a piece of grass from the ground and played with it between his fingers.

"I know you would never hurt me." She said, needing him to understand this one point more than anything else.

He nodded.

"I know you can take care of yourself." He said quietly. "But I still have your back."

"I know." Carol said. "I count on it, every day."

They didn't mention Sophia. It was too painful a thing and best left to lie there.

"Gonna keep watch with me?" He asked.

Carol resisted the urge to tease him about what that used to mean for them.

"Sure."

He pulled his poncho over his head and spread it out over their legs. "Come on," He gestured toward himself. "It's getting cold again."

Carol shuffled over so they were pressed together. She could feel his arm behind her back, supporting her. She let him.


	8. Chapter 8

**The Walking Dead isn't mine.**

**Thanks so much for all the alerts and favorites! And a huge thank you to those of you who take the time to review!**

* * *

Carol was cutting into a third corpse when Daryl came to find her. He didn't speak at first, but she could sense him standing there behind her. Watching. She heard the scrape of gravel as he shifted on his feet. She decided to ignore him. She was determined to figure this out. She just needed to focus.

"Gonna be dark soon." He said, finally.

"That gives me a few more minutes." She replied without looking up.

"You even know what you're doing?" Daryl asked her.

"No." She admitted, her voice shakier than she would have liked. "That's the point."

Carol lifted her bloody hands from her work and rested them on her knees, knife still in her grip. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"Hershel is gonna be fine." Daryl offered then.

Carol shook her head, not wanting to think about it. At the time, the adrenalin had kept her moving, doing what she could for the man, without really knowing what to do. And then she'd run out of things to do with her hands. They had to wait. But Carol couldn't wait. The moment she'd stopped, the terror had latched on and wouldn't let go.

Her mind had jumped to all the worst possible scenarios. What would they do without Hershel? What would Lori do? What would happen to the baby? They couldn't lose another child. She couldn't bear it. She couldn't bear to lose Hershel. Not another member of their family. Not after surviving for so long on the road. Not now, when they had found this fortress to keep them safe.

So she had been cutting up walkers all afternoon, trying to imagine doing this to Lori. She'd being trying but had failed. Sometimes she felt something like pride in how far she had come. She felt strong, like she deserved to be alive. She'd fought and won it.

But now, looking down at her bloodied hands and the butchered walker, she only felt frustration and disbelief that she had completely wasted her life before. Why hadn't she been a nurse or a doctor? Or anything useful. She knew how to press buttons on her God Damned Maytag. And what use was that to her now? None.

"Come on." Daryl urged again. "He woke up. He's gonna be fine. You saved him."

"Rick saved him." Carol argued. "Could you have done that? I've been trying to convince myself that I can cut the baby out of Lori if I have to. I just don't know."

"It ain't gonna come to that. It's not all on you."

He held his hand out to her, beckoning. She stared at it and then looked away. His hand dropped. His sigh was heavy.

"You gonna make me carry you?" Daryl asked then, not bothering to hide his annoyance. "Cause I will."

"You've carried me long enough, don't you think?" Carol asked.

Daryl bent down and grabbed her from under the arms, pulling her up. As soon as she was on her feet she jerked away from him. He folded his arms and stared at her.

"This some shit about you being a burden again?" He was angry. "Hershel just had his leg hacked off and he's fighting to live. And you're down here giving up."

"You don't understand." Carol insisted. "You've spent your whole life fighting. It's who you are. I've always just accepted things. That's who I am. And when we found this place, I forgot. I let myself hope. I was foolish."

"You best stop talking like that because ain't no one here gonna listen." Daryl said. "You trying to convince me you don't fight? You never stop. Fighting walkers, fighting hunger, fighting cold. Fighting me. Pushing against you is like pushing against a brick wall."

Carol smirked. "I thought pushing against me was a little more pleasant than that."

"Shut up." Daryl said. "I'm pissed."

"I can tell."

"You're acting like no one gives a damn about you. You think we keep you around just because you're useful? How useful is that baby gonna be when it's born?" Daryl asked.

"Okay." Carol said, hoping to end the conversation. "I'm sorry."

Daryl eyed her sceptically. "Always sorry, ain't ya?" He looked away from her and sighed again. "Ever anything you ain't sorry for?"

Carol felt the awkwardness fill the space between them. She longed to tell him she wasn't sorry for one minute she'd been with him. Only sorry that she'd inadvertently hurt him. She wanted to ask if he still had feelings for her, or if she'd driven them away once and for all. She needed to feel his arms around her. Needed that comfort. Needed him.

Carol wrapped her arms around herself and backed up a step. She wouldn't use him again.

"I'm thankful for you, Daryl." She said.

He held his hand out to her again, motioning to the hand that still gripped her knife. This time she let him take her hand, and with a gentleness that might have surprised the others, he eased the blade from her stained fingers. He tucked the knife in his belt, but didn't let go of her hand. Instead he turned it over, examining it, before enclosing it in his larger hand.

"I'm filthy." Carol murmured.

"I ain't complaining." Daryl said, not letting go of her. The distance between them had shrunk somehow and Carol could feel the heat coming off his skin.

"It got dark." Carol observed, not really knowing what to say.

Daryl chuckled, amused. "You scared of the dark now?"

Carol smiled. "I'm not scared of anything when I'm with you."

Daryl's grip on her hand tightened and he took a step closer. Was standing over her.

"Not gonna let anything happen to you."

"I know." Carol said, staring into his eyes. She wondered if he would kiss her. Wondered if she should wait for him or if she should just reach out. He was so close. And she wanted him.

"Hey guys," Glenn's voice rang out.

Carol immediately took a step back, away from Daryl. He continued to stare at her, his thumb running over her hand before slowly releasing it.

"Maggie and I are taking watch in the tower." Glenn said, approaching them. "How did it go, Carol?" He asked, gesturing to the bodies.

Carol frowned. "I think I'm better at patching people together than taking them apart."

"Hershel is tough." Glenn declared. "He's already spoken to us."

"A fighter, that one." Daryl added.

"You guys should go grab something to eat. Maggie and I will keep an eye out."

Daryl nodded and urged Carol forward by pressing his hand against the small of her back. They watched the younger man enter the tower as they walked on toward the prison.

"They might get some watching done if they come up for air long enough." Daryl observed.

Carol giggled. "They're young and in love."

"That'll be a real comfort when we all get eaten in our sleep."

"We are safely behind bars, remember?" Carol said. "Privacy is hard to come by these days."

"You ain't lying." Daryl said, looking back at the tower. "Maybe you'll come on watch with me some night."

Carol grinned. "You mean so someone is actually watching?"

"No." Said Daryl. "That's not what I mean."

Carol saw one side of his mouth twitch up in what she knew was a smile. She gave him a quick poke in the ribs with her finger and laughed.


	9. Chapter 9

**So sorry for the delay in updating. I had a very busy week with family stuff. But here, finally, is chapter 9.**

**The Walking Dead isn't mine.**

* * *

She'd lost track of whether her eyes were opened or closed. She concentrated on breathing. First, to release each breath silently, so as to not attract more walkers. Then, to calm herself. To distract herself from thinking about the small cramped space she was hiding in. This closet that had presented itself like an answered prayer was now beginning to resemble a casket.

She'd held the door closed tight for what seemed an eternity. Hours. Finally her strength had left her. Her arms had turned to rubber and she'd collapsed onto the floor. Had closed her eyes, even. Had slept. Had been too exhausted to care if those things got to her.

Wakening in the pitch dark had been disorienting. Her body ached. She'd fought hard, slamming her knife into walker after walker, running through that maze hoping to find a way out. And then she'd lost her knife. Her only choice had been to run or hide. So she'd gratefully trapped herself inside this closet. Now she was only left to wonder if anyone was looking for her. If there was anyone left at all. Or perhaps she was truly alone.

Carol attempted to lick her dry lips, noting how thick her tongue felt in her mouth. Her legs were too weak to even attempt walking out of here. Ridiculous to imagine running. And there in the back of her mind was the thought that Daryl would come. If he had survived, surely he'd be looking for her.

It was discouraging that so much time had passed. She feared the worst. And thought that perhaps it would be quicker to crawl into the hall and be eaten. If she just sat here and let herself die, she'd turn. She wondered if it was painful, dying. Turning. The thought of becoming one of those things was repugnant. That she could end up hurting someone else was horrifying. But then, she supposed, she wouldn't know the difference at that point.

It was cowardly, to hide and die in this quiet way. Her thoughts drifted to T-Dog and his sacrifice. He'd been so brave. Such a good man. He'd let those things tear him apart, just to give her a chance. She shouldn't let herself turn. She should be brave. Honour T-Dog in the only way left to her. Carol moved to push the door open. To end this. But as she struggled to lift her impossibly heavy limbs, she hesitated. She slumped back against the wall and closed her eyes. It might be weakness. Probably hope was a weakness. A fool's excuse. She felt herself drifting into sleep again. She couldn't give up if there was still a chance.

Carol wasn't sure if she was dreaming or reminiscing. She was back at the pond, lying naked in the grass. The sun was warm on her skin. And Daryl was kissing her so tenderly. There he was, truly bared and vulnerable. So beautiful. Her imagination altered the scene. He didn't leave. She accepted his love as if it was the most natural thing in the world for her. They held each other all night, a tangle of flawless skin and easy smiles. She'd chased the demons away with her love.

Lori had been right. She only needed to recall her love for Sophia, her poor, sweet girl, to understand that there was room in her heart for Daryl. She knew now she had made space for him there a long time ago. She regretted deeply that he'd never know it. She would die and he would never know that in spite of the horrors they faced every day, in spite of losing her daughter, in spite of herself, she'd known happiness. She'd felt joy with him. He'd given her hope and strength. He'd changed her weak and timid heart. She wasn't afraid anymore. And it was because she loved him.

Too much time had passed. She couldn't know exactly how long she'd been there, hidden in this box, but was certain Daryl would have found her by now. But no one was coming to save her. They must be dead. Or had left the prison. She thought for a moment she could hear movement outside the closet. She pushed against the door, feebly. She was ready to join T-Dog now. Ready to join Sophia.

She realized then, she'd forgotten to pray. She'd given up that habit after she'd lost Sophia. She didn't know if she believed anymore. She wanted to. She wanted to believe in Heaven. That she would be reunited with her daughter there. That there was peace for all of those they'd lost. Those they'd loved.

She wouldn't pray for herself. She could recall the good things in her life now, with gratitude. She'd held her new born daughter in her arms and had felt that surge of joy. Sophia had grasped Carol's finger and had filled her heart. Her body could recall exactly the weight and warmth of Sophia in her arms. The texture of Sophia's hair as she ran her fingers through it. How she smelled. A combination of laundry detergent and shampoo and something that was uniquely Sophia. Something that was hers. She'd been complete.

Carol knew that if there was a prayer in her heart, it was for Daryl and the others. She hoped more than anything that they were alive. That they'd continue to survive. She hoped they'd be good to each other and love one another. She hoped that if there was a God, he would watch over them. That they would be granted a moment of grace.

The noise was back outside of her door. She was ready. Suddenly the door swung open and she was assaulted by light and the movement of air. She blinked and her eyes focused on Daryl, standing above her with his knife raised. She had one moment of horror as she wondered if she had already died. Already turned. What if the walkers retained that which had made them human? What if Sophia had been reaching out to Rick, seeking his help, when he'd shot her down?

But in the next heartbeat, he was touching her. The knife was gone and he was lifting her into his arms. She was afraid to believe this was real. That he had come at last. She tried to speak. Needed to tell him she loved him before it was too late. But her throat was was impossibly dry, and the only sound that escaped was barely a whisper.

"Shhh." Daryl said softly, as he maneuvered around the walker's remains, carrying her out of her tomb. "I've got you." She felt his arms tighten around her and she sank into unconsciousness again. Safe.

Back in her cell, Daryl quietly fussed, making her comfortable, getting her water. He sat behind her, supporting her, as he helped her take those first few mouthfuls.

"Good." He encouraged. His hands were shaking and he didn't sit for long. Had yet to make eye contact with her. She grasped his hand and squeezed it, forcing him to look at her. Trying to pull him closer.

"I'm sorry." He said then, bowing his head.

She frowned in confusion.

"Don't know where the hell everyone went to." He said, sniffing. "I best go look."

He pulled his hand from her grasp and met her gaze. His eyes were rimmed with red. He reached down, cupping her face in his hands. He leaned in and pressed his lips firmly to the top of her head, resting there for a moment. Her hand snaked up, trying to reach him again. He rose abruptly, wiping away snot and tears with the back of his hand.

"Best go get the others." He said, hovering at the door frame. He looked back at her and her heart fluttered as his mouth turned up into his version of a smile. "Don't go anywhere."


	10. Chapter 10

**The Walking Dead isn't mine.**

* * *

Carol sat on her bunk, holding the baby, trying to process everything that had happened. Lori was gone. She felt the tears threaten again, but forced them away. She focused on the sweet baby girl in her arms. She was the purest thing to come from all of this. She was hope.

Now a stranger had arrived, telling the group that Maggie and Glenn had been captured. They would have to go, Carol knew. There was no way Rick would abandon any of his own. And Daryl would be at his side, like always.

Carol felt a surge of fear. What kind of people were they dealing with? Kidnappers? Who knew what else they were capable of? Glenn and Maggie could already be dead. And Rick and Daryl could be walking into a trap. They didn't know this woman. How could they believe anything she said?

Carol closed her eyes and took a breath. It didn't matter. If there was a chance, they had to go. They had to try. How could any of them ever look Hershel in the eye again if they didn't? She knew she was being selfish. She had just been reunited with them. With him. She wasn't ready to say goodbye. Not when there were other things to say.

She hadn't had a moment alone with him since he brought the group to her cell. It was only then that she'd understood it had been nearly two days since she'd disappeared. They'd assumed she had died like T-Dog. They'd dug her a grave. No one had been looking. Not even Daryl. But he had found her. It was a miracle. Or close enough.

Beth returned then with a large bowl of water and some towels.

"You're an angel." Carol said as Beth produced body wash from her back pocket.

"I can help you, if you like." Beth offered.

"I think I can manage." Carol said. She still felt weakened, but her strength was returning.

Beth pinned a sheet up to the door for privacy. "Just call out if you need me." She said, taking the baby.

Carol wasted no time peeling the filthy clothes from her body. She washed her bottom half first, bending to reach every inch of skin, in spite of her protesting muscles. Slipping into clean underwear had her near tears. She was starting to feel less like a walker and more human again.

Light flooded her cell as the curtain was pushed aside.

"I'm fine, Beth." She assured the girl, keeping her back to the door and wetting the cloth again.

A hand reached around and took the cloth from her. "Let me." Daryl said.

He took the cloth and slowly smoothed it across her back, soaking her skin with water. He wet the cloth again and squeezed the water out on her chest, causing the water to trickle down between her breasts and soak into her new panties.

He took the soap and lathered it in his hands, then used his fingers to wash her, caressing and massaging as he went. His hands cupped her breasts and then moved to her shoulders, running down her arms and in between her fingers. No spot was ignored. He didn't seem to care that he was getting wet, pressed up against her. She could feel his breath on her neck. A tiny moan escaped her lips. He had her tingling all over.

"Feel better?" He asked softly, wetting the cloth again to rinse her.

"Getting there." She confessed, leaning back against him as his hands strayed to her breasts again.

His arms tightened around her then and he held her in an embrace, his head tucked into her neck. Carol covered his hand with hers and squeezed.

"I should have been looking." He whispered against her skin.

"You found me." She reminded him, hoping to retrieve some of that pride she'd seen in his eyes earlier when he had presented her to the group like some sort of grand prize.

"Could have lost ya. Thought I did." His grip tightened again, as if to reassure himself she was really there.

"I'm not going anywhere." She promised. A false promise. One that none of them could keep. But the words left her lips anyway.

Daryl loosened his grip and reached for the shirt she had placed on the bed, pulling it over her head. He turned her to face him, straightening the shirt and then bending to place his hot mouth over her breast, kissing and tweaking her nipple through the material. He dropped to his knees then and pressed his face into her stomach.

"I gotta go with Rick." He said, finally.

"I know." She ran her hand through his hair. She wanted to tell him how much she loved him, but somehow the timing didn't seem right. She didn't want to add to the burden of him leaving her right now. Didn't want him to feel more guilty than he already did.

She knelt down on the floor with him, knee to knee, and looked him in the eye. Placing her hands on either side of his face, she pulled him gently toward her until their lips met. His mouth moved against hers, tenderly, like she'd remembered. She parted her lips to deepen the kiss. Daryl grunted his approval as his hands moved to grab her ass, pulling her tight to him. She could feel his arousal and rubbed against him.

"Shit." Daryl said then, breaking the kiss and pulling back from her.

"What?" Carol asked, disappointed. Had she ruined things again somehow?

"Christ. I just pulled you out of the tombs. You ain't ready for this yet."

"I am." Carol argued. "I want to. I missed you." She confessed.

Daryl shook his head, standing up and pulling her with him. "No. Not like this. Rick wants to go now. I ain't got time to do what I'd want to do to you."

Carol could see his mind was made up and tried to hide her disappointment. "Is that what you came here to tell me? That you're leaving?"

"Yeah." Daryl's mouth twitched as a smile threatened to escape. "But you were all wet and naked. I got side tracked."

Carol smiled and reached out for his hand. "Have you got time for one little thing?" She asked.

"What's that?"

"Wash my hair?" She walked over to the little table and bent over, dipping her head in the water. Daryl hissed at the sight of her backside in the air, but didn't hesitate to rub his hand over her as he reached for the shampoo. He remained pressed against her as he massaged the shampoo into her hair and then rinsed it out.

He handed her a towel, but when she tried to stand up he gently pressed her back down across the table.

"I maybe got a minute." He whispered as he tucked his thumbs into the waistband of her panties and pushed them down. She felt him kiss his way down her back before nudging her knees apart and then pushing inside of her. She pushed back against him, meeting his thrusts. He was being deliberately gentle, so she silently urged him to pick up the pace. He reached around and used his fingers to rub and flick her into a climax, his own following immediately after. Her legs gave out on her then, so he picked her up and lay her across her bunk, kissing her again.

It was on the tip of her tongue to declare her love for him. To demand that he come back to her. But she kept it to herself. She lay there, her body humming, and watched him buckle his pants back up.

"Gotta get my gear together." He said, hesitating.

"I'll be out in a minute." Carol assured him. She would see him off. But she wouldn't say goodbye.


	11. Chapter 11

**The Walking Dead isn't mine.**

* * *

Her hands shook as she brought the damp cloth to her face once more, washing the blood from her skin.

"I've got you some clean clothes." Beth said, laying them on her bed.

"Thank you." Carol said, offering the sweet girl a smile.

Hershel entered then. "Are you hurt, Carol?" He asked. "Anything need looking at?"

"No." Carol reassured him. "I'm fine."

Hershel stepped closer to her. "I'm sure that's not true." He said. "But I'm glad you're not hurt."

"I liked Axel." Beth said, still hovering at the door. "I think he was sweet on you."

Carol closed her eyes. Poor Axel. There would barely be a moment to mourn this man they'd only just begun to know. "I think he was just very sweet." She answered, bringing the cloth back up to her face.

Beth turned and stepped out of the cell.

"She alright?" Carol heard him ask. His voice was so achingly familiar. One she never thought she'd hear again. It was strange to hear him speak now. She'd truly accepted that she'd never see him again.

"She's fine. It's Axel's blood." Beth responded.

Carol paused her ministrations and listened to Daryl's footsteps carrying him away, back to the ongoing argument over Merle's arrival. Their voices carried. Merle was unwelcome.

"We'll find a way." Hershel said, reminding her he was still there.

Carol shrugged. She couldn't decide if she cared. She wondered if she could summon some sort of defense of Merle, but her mind was blank. The only one who wanted Merle here was Daryl, and she knew Merle wasn't good for him. She understood this better than the rest. So as much as she might want to side with Daryl, just for his sake, just to prove someone was there for him, she couldn't. Because she loved him.

"Maybe he should have just stayed away. This isn't going to go the way he wants it too. Men like Merle don't change." Carol said.

"Daryl has." Hershel said, watching her carefully.

"I doubt Daryl was ever much like Merle. He adapted."

"Is Merle the one responsible for those scars?" Hershel asked.

Carol turned and met Hershel's eye. "I doubt he'd appreciate us talking about that." She said. "But, no. I don't think so. I got the impression from him that it was his father."

"Which probably means Merle has a matching set." Hershel said.

"Does that excuse what he's done?" Carol asked. "Are we supposed to pity him?"

"We could try to understand him. Move forward. There is nothing to be gained here by holding grudges."

"Even after what he's done to Maggie and Glenn?" Carol was amazed.

"We need Daryl." Hershel said. It was as simple as that. "You know Rick has been struggling. We don't have the luxury of picking and choosing our friends. We have to work this situation to our advantage. Merle can fight and he knows how the Governor operates."

"He doesn't care about us." Carol insisted.

"But he cares about his brother. And Daryl chose to return. This is where he wants to be. Have you spoken with him?"

Carol shook her head. "Everything happened so fast. I'm not sure what there is to say."

"I understand if you're angry with him, but now is not the time to push him away." Hershel warned.

"I'm not angry." Carol said, believing this was the truth. "Disappointed, maybe. It doesn't matter what I think."

"Carol," Hershel spoke sharply. "Don't insult either of us by pretending you're not in a relationship with that man. I'm not sure why the two of you feel the need to creep around like you have to hide from the rest of us, but we've been living in close quarters for the better part of a year. There are no secrets here."

"Relationship." Carol repeated the word. Tested it on her tongue. "That would be exaggerating things."

"From where I'm standing, that man just chose you over his brother." Hershel said. "You need to go to him. Make sure he understands that he's made the right decision. Glenn isn't making this easy for him." Hershel sighed. "You need to be there for him."

"He just left." Carol whispered. "After everything. I think that speaks for itself." She cut herself off then, willing herself not to cry.

Hershel reached out and squeezed her shoulder. "I know you understand what an impossible situation this is for him."

The voices were louder again. Merle could be heard laughing.

"That man needs to learn when to keep quiet." Hershel observed.

"Good luck." Carol said. "He's not interested in getting along with us."

"He assumes we'll reject him." Hershel said. "He's going to bite first. Prove himself right." Hershel started moving toward the door. "You'll talk to him?" He asked before he left.

"Of course." Carol said.

She changed out of yet more bloodied clothes and tried to imagine what she might say to Daryl. It hurt more than she cared to admit, that he'd left. She'd believed he'd had feelings for her. She understood that he couldn't walk away from Merle. She was just shocked that he hadn't made more of an effort to bring Merle back to the prison. At least to collect his things. And maybe to ask her to go with them. She might even have said yes.

Deep down she knew he would never ask that of her. Would never expect her to leave the group for him. Would never expect her to put up with Merle. Especially since he had no reason to believe she had feelings for him. She'd kept quiet the last time she'd had the opportunity to tell him she loved him. She'd believed she'd been doing this for his benefit. To spare him the burden of her love. But perhaps she'd just been afraid. She'd been a coward because she wasn't certain if he would return her feelings.

She'd had two thoughts when Rick had told her Daryl had gone off. First, that she'd lost her chance to tell him. She'd wasted her last opportunity to tell him how she felt. He'd be out in the world somewhere and would never know how much he meant to her. Perhaps if he'd known, he wouldn't have left.

Her second thought was that she now had her answer. Any affection he might have felt for her, couldn't have been that deep. If he'd been able to leave without even saying goodbye, that made it clear that there were no ties at the prison strong enough to hold him there. He didn't love her.

The others continued to shout over each other, no one really listening. Hershel was trying very hard to be the voice of reason. Merle was his own worst enemy. Daryl was stuck in the middle, like a child in a nasty divorce. Hershel was right. Daryl needed her. He needed her friendship and she could certainly be there for him.

She wouldn't add to the pressure he was already under. She would push her own hurt aside and reassure him. He needed to know he was welcome, that he still had a place with them. He needed to know that in spite of the arguing, they were so relieved to have him back. She was so happy to have him back.


	12. Chapter 12

**I'm thinking there will be just one more chapter after this one... **

**The Walking Dead isn't mine.**

* * *

It didn't take long for her to realize he was avoiding her company. It had been one thing when he'd left them to be with Merle. She had missed him. Had agonized over all the things she hadn't said. Had replayed their last time together over again countless times in her mind until her body ached for him.

But now he was back, and she could hardly tell the difference. She could understand if he didn't want to be with her anymore. Their encounters had always ebbed and flowed, but no matter what, they had always been friendly. Whether he was angry with her or just hurt, he'd never turned his back on her, but to give her warmth. Now he only gave her his back to shut her out. It chilled her to the bone.

Things were tense as Rick had left the prison again, this time on a run with Michonne and Carl. Merle had been given more freedom to move about the prison, but Daryl shadowed him everywhere he went. She'd heard Merle give something of an apology to Michonne, not that it'd been terribly sincere. She hadn't noted any such exchange with Glenn or Maggie. But then, Merle wasn't the type to set himself up for certain rejection. They mostly ignored each other, or tried to. Any time Merle disappeared into D block there was a collective sigh of relief. Daryl usually disappeared with him.

They were gathered together now, loosely, for the evening meal. The Dixon brothers arrived from having been on watch. She noticed how Merle had the odd habit of hanging on to Daryl's backpack as they walked, as if he was worried Daryl would abandon him. Or like a blind man, needing a guide.

"She's been awfully fussy today." Beth sighed, grabbing a bottle with one hand while holding Judith in the other.

"Let me help." Carol insisted, leaving the stew to simmer for a moment while making up the bottle. "She may just be hungry. She's a growing girl. We might need to increase the amount of formula we give her. Give her another month and we can start cereal."

Beth looked stricken. "You think she's hungry? Not getting enough?"

Carol felt her mouth turn up. "Relax, Beth. You're doing a fine job. Feedings always need adjusting. Even before the end of the world. You haven't done anything wrong. You only need to look at her to know she's getting enough. She's fatter than the rest of us."

Beth seemed to sag with relief. "Thanks, Carol. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"You'd manage. You're a natural." That had Beth smiling again as she walked off to feed the baby.

Daryl, she could see, had resisted his natural inclination to sit on the steps, off to the side, in favor of sitting at a table. She knew this was in deference to Merle. It was impossible to eat on the run with just one hand. He was very capable, but there were still limitations to what he could do. Adjustments to be made.

They always waited til everyone else had been served. Then Daryl stepped up, first with Merle's bowl and then his own.

"Why don't you help with the baby?"

She almost didn't hear him. He spoke under his breath, hardly a whisper. Her eyes darted up to meet his as she took his bowl from his hand. She turned to the pot of stew and shrugged.

"I do help." She insisted. "Of course I do."

"You know what I mean. You hardly ever hold her. You're letting little Greene do it all."

"Well, we divide the work. I heard somewhere that my cooking was preferred over Beth's."

"Judy's gonna think Beth is her Momma."

"What's wrong with that?" Carol asked, handing the bowl back to Daryl.

"You think that's what Lori would have had in mind?" He asked. He'd yet to take the bowl from her, his fingers covering her own.

Carol snorted. "Lori knew how I felt." She said.

"What?" Daryl asked. He was staring now, really wanting to know.

"My child is gone. I adore Judith, but I don't want to be anyone else's mother." She pulled her fingers away then, forcing him to catch the bowl.

"Must be some secret, all that whispering." Merle drawled from across the room.

Carol turned back to the pot to fix herself a bowl, willing the heat to leave her cheeks. Daryl turned and went back to his table without another word.

She understood then, why Daryl kept his distance. As she walked over to join the others she could feel Merle's eyes on her. His interest had been piqued. Not much got past Merle Dixon, but Daryl had obviously been on a mission to steer him clear of her. She vowed not to so much as glance in their direction for the rest of the night.

"I'm gonna go on watch." She heard Daryl say as he pushed his bowl away.

"You all ain't much for recreation, that's for sure." Merle observed.

"We don't force people to fight each other for entertainment, if that's what you mean." Maggie said.

"Don't." Glenn said, exhausted and hanging by thread. "Don't talk to him."

Carol saw the flash of anger in Maggie's eyes, but the younger woman kept her thoughts to herself.

"I'm going to take watch." Glenn added.

"You the boss now?" Merle asked. "I thought baby brother was Officer Friendly's go to guy. Or did I get that wrong?"

"Shut up." Daryl said to his brother. She could hear the weariness in his voice. "I can go with you." He offered.

"You just got back from watch." Glenn pointed out. "Besides, haven't you got enough to do, watching him?"

"Ole Merle don't need no babysitter. You're all forgetting who you should really be worrying about."

Glenn ignored him, addressing only Daryl. "You wanted your brother. Now you have him."

"Glenn," Hershel spoke gently, but the warning was clear. "Maybe you should head on out."

"You wouldn't do any different, man." Daryl muttered.

"Yeah, and if it were someone you loved?" Glenn countered.

"They don't give you any credit for human feelings, do they little brother?" Merle cut in. "Ain't no one here cares about you. Ain't no one here who loves you, but me."

"That's not true." Hershel said immediately, speaking the words that were frozen on Carol's tongue.

"We would have been better off taking our chances in the woods." Merle continued. "You're pissed at me, but I've felt more warmth skinny dipping in December. This is a cold, fuckin' useless bunch. They want you around to fill their bellies and shoot the baddies."

Glenn looked like he was about to speak, but instead he turned and left to take watch. Maggie went in the opposite direction, to the cells.

Carol stood to clear dishes, hoping some activity would end the conversation. Daryl looked so defeated, slumped in his chair.

"Why don't you get some rest, son." Hershel suggested to Daryl.

Merle stood looking around the room. His appraisal must of fallen short. He shook his head and turned toward D block. "Should have stayed in the woods, sonny boy."

For once Daryl didn't immediately follow his brother. Carol thought he looked very lonely, sat there among them, but somehow separate.

She approached his table to take the dishes, but something moved her to his side instead. She placed one hand on his shoulder and gave it a squeeze. He felt so tense and she expected him to shove her off and bolt. But after a heartbeat, he seemed to let go and lean into her. His hand reached up and covered hers.

It crossed her mind that they'd never touched each other in front of the others before. Not like this. A glance at Hershel confirmed his approval. He ushered Beth and the baby out of the room, leaving them alone. Daryl immediately moved to press his face into her stomach. She held him place with one hand while stroking his hair with the other.

"I'm sorry." He whispered.

"It'll get better." She reassured him. "It'll be okay." She hoped, more than believed, that to be true. She also prayed that somehow Daryl would understand that each gentle caress was as good as a confession of her love.


	13. Chapter 13

**I apologize for the long delay in posting the final chapter of this fic. Thanks for your patience!**

**I would like to send a special thank you to Nova802, for her kind words and support. You probably have her to thank for this chapter ever being written.**

**Thanks so much for all the alerts and favs and especially to everyone who took the time to review. I LOVE hearing from you.**

**There was a song that provided a lot of the inspiration for this chapter. If you have the time you should check out 'Everything'll Be Alright' by Catherine MacLellon.**

**Once more, The Walking Dead isn't mine.**

* * *

She'd volunteered for watch, unable to sleep. Daryl was out there somewhere, trying to find Merle. Michonne had told them what Merle had done. It seemed he meant to take on the Governor alone and had no intention of coming back. Carol understood. He meant to prove himself. Perhaps there was some solution to all of this, if Merle could show he was an asset and not an unwanted burden.

No one had welcomed Merle. Not even her. She'd pushed the man. Imagined she'd seen something in him. 'Late Bloomer', he'd called her. And she'd thrown his words back at him. Dared him to find the potential in himself. Perhaps that hadn't been fair. She'd been so sure, in that moment. He'd reminded her of Daryl. There was another lost boy underneath that crass exterior. It had been the briefest of glimpses, but she'd seen enough to know Daryl would never give up on him. He loved his brother too much to understand that he might find Merle, but still never have what he's looking for.

Her ears perked up as below her, Rick rushed toward the gate. It was Daryl. She smothered her relieved sob into the sleeve of her jacket. He was alone. Rick spoke to him, Daryl pausing and listening without turning. He held himself stiffly. Didn't want to be touched. Rick must have sensed this too, and didn't offer comfort. Surely Merle was dead. Daryl wouldn't have returned without him.

Daryl nodded once and then headed into the prison. Rick stared after him, running a hand through his hair. The man needed to sleep. As if feeling her eyes on him, Rick looked up toward her. He gestured once, with a jerk of his head in the direction Daryl had gone. Yes, they needed Daryl, but they cared about him too. She picked up her gun and slowly descended the stairs. She would go to him.

C Block seemed empty as she made her way to Daryl's cell. The others were already trying to grab whatever sleep they could manage or were simply keeping to themselves. It occurred to her that Daryl might have planned to return at this hour, knowing he'd be able to avoid most of them.

He stood, leaning against the top bunk, fingering his crossbow that rested there. He glanced up, meeting her eyes for a moment, before returning his gaze to the worn mattress. Carol leaned against the door frame and waited. She wouldn't force him to talk, or attempt to hold him. She hoped that her presence would convey the support she offered and the comfort she wished to give.

The silence between them wasn't heavy with things unsaid. It was an easy silence, the space in the small cell filled with the simple understanding between them. Carol took the time to observe him. It was rare to have this time together, undisturbed. She noted the lines on his face, deeper now than they had been a year ago. He would have one of those craggy faces, full of character. She could attempt to smooth out the lines, but he'd earned them. Hard work, pain, fear, death, fatigue, loneliness; each line told a story. It suited him. He hadn't had an easy life and a smooth, pretty face would mask that truth. It was the lack of expression in his eyes that bothered her now.

They stood like that, unmoving, for a long time. Finally, with a sigh, Daryl shifted his weight from one leg to another and then sat down on the lower bunk. Carol took that as an invitation and carefully sat on the opposite end, leaving space between them. He still hadn't said a word, but she felt the difference in his posture. He had opened himself up, just a crack. He would hear her.

"This world never stops being cruel." She said. "So we have to be good to each other."

He looked at her, blankly. Waiting.

"When Sophia walked out of that barn, I lost everything." Carol began. "I had failed as a mother. I hadn't protected her. She had been alone and scared and I didn't come. I didn't save her. That's what a mother is, you know. A mother is that space in the world that is completely safe and sorrow free. A place where the monsters can't get you. I know, down to my bones, that up until her last moment she was expecting me to appear and make everything alright."

Daryl shifted uncomfortably, but Carol couldn't stop now. Some things had been buried for far too long.

"It's an ugly, painful thing to think about, so I try not to. That's the one convenience about fearing for your life all the time. It distracts you from those thoughts and memories. But I do think about her and I remember exactly how she felt in my arms the last time I held her. Some days that is too much to bear. Other days, it's a comfort and a blessing. She was the best of me. I loved her. And she loved me."

Carol blinked furiously and took a breath. She didn't need to hide anything from this man.

"That day, when you sat with me in Dale's camper, was the worst day of my life. I just wanted to be numb and not have to feel any of it. It was too much. The others left me alone. Everyone except you. Do you even know why?"

Carol shook her head, not needing an answer.

"Sitting in that trailer, accepting that I'd never hold my little girl again, I also realized that I was truly alone in the world now. She had been the only one, you see. She loved me. And then she was gone. She was the last person who loved me. You don't even recognize how important that is until it's gone.

"And I've worked hard. I wasn't anyone's mother anymore, but I needed to feel useful. I needed to contribute and not be a burden. I needed to prove I was worth keeping around. And perhaps become important enough not to be forgotten. The others, they left me alone. But you never did. You always saw me there. I'm so grateful for you."

Carol paused, gathering her courage. He wasn't looking at her now, which made it easier.

"I'm sorry about Merle. Truly, I am. I know what he meant to you and that you hoped he'd be accepted into the group like you were. He was your brother. You loved him."

Carol stared at her hands, folded in her lap.

"But you've got to know something. Merle was not the only person in this world who loved you. Your brother is gone, but you're not alone. I'm here." Carol paused. "And I love you." She breathed.

Her words hung there for a long stretch of time, unanswered. She hadn't been hoping for a declaration. Not anymore. But some acknowledgment that he'd heard her, might ease the hammering of her heart. Deciding that she'd intruded long enough, Carol rose from the bed, turning to leave.

"Don't go." He whispered. She turned around. His head was bowed, but he held his hand out toward her. She took it. He pulled her down to sit beside him, clenching her hand tightly.

"Merle wasn't as bad as he made out." Daryl said. "Not always. I know he was an ass and he liked pissing people off." Daryl shrugged. "His loud mouth saved me more times than I can count. Daddy barely knew I was there before Merle left. He made sure of that. Would piss the old man off on purpose, just to keep the attention on himself. Away from me. And her."

Daryl turned his head and faced her. His eyes were bloodshot and his body sagged with exhaustion.

"He shouldn't have gone out there like that. On his own."

"He was still protecting you. That was the place he made for himself. We won't forget him." Carol said. "You should get some sleep. It isn't over yet."

"Will you stay?" He asked.

Carol nodded. "Always."

It took a bit of shuffling, the removal of jackets and boots and the brief release of her hand, before they were settled in the bed. Carol lay on her side, facing the wall, expecting to feel Daryl's back supporting hers. It had been so long since they'd slept together. She was surprised when she felt him spoon her, his arm snaking around her hip to hold her tightly in place.

"I'm not going anywhere." She teased gently.

"I'm gonna make damned sure of it." He said, squeezing her even more tightly.

Carol felt safe, bundled in his arms. Whatever tomorrow might bring, she'd had this moment of perfect contentedness.

Daryl kissed her just under her earlobe, whispering softly, "Sophia wasn't the last person to love you."

Carol pulled his hand up to her lips and kissed his fingertips, before pressing his hand against her chest and holding it there. She'd finally given him her heart and each beat against his palm was steady. Her love was safe in his hands. They fell asleep holding each other, exposed and protected.

That was just the first time.

The End


End file.
